Clean Jokes for 7-Year-Olds
189 free, clean jokes hand-picked for 7-year-olds: seven is peak knock-knock and ‘why did the’ season. Tap any joke to reveal the punchline.
School Jokes (7)
Who is in charge of all the school supplies?
The Ruler
Where do books hide when they are scared?
Under their covers
what did the paper say to the pencil?
You have a good point
Why do calculators make great friends?
You can always count on them
Where do pencils go on vacation?
Pennsylvania
Why isn’t there a clock in the library?
Because it tocks too much
Why did the boy eat his homework?
Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Ocean & Pirate Jokes (5)
How does a pirate cut the sea in half?
With a seesaw
Where do pirates buy their hooks?
The second hand store
Who keeps the ocean clean?
The mermaid
What letter in the alphabet has the most water?
The C
Why do shrimp never share?
They’re so shellfish.
Nature Jokes (23)
What kind of bow can’t be tied?
A rainbow
What do you call a flower that runs on electricity?
A Power plant
What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree
What kind of room doesn’t have doors?
A Mushroom
Why couldn’t the flower ride its bike?
It had lost its petals.
What do you call a robot farmer?
A transfarmer
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick
What is the scariest plant?
Bam-BOO!
What goes up when the rain comes down?
An umbrella
Why was the mushroom invited to every party?
Because he was a fungi
How can you tell the ocean is friendly?
It waves
Why should you be careful when it’s raining cats and dogs?
You might step in a poodle!
What did the beach say to the wave?
Long tide, no sea.
What did the ground say to the earthquake?
You crack me up!
What do you call an old snowman?
Water
How do you cut a wave in half?
Use a seesaw
What is a tornado’s favourite game to play?
Twister
What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderwear
What falls all winter but doesn’t get hurt?
Snow
How do all the oceans say hello to each other?
They wave!
What does the sun drink out of?
Sunglasses
What do you get when you throw a bunch of books into the ocean?
A title wave
Space Jokes (4)
How does NASA organise a party?
A They planet!
What do stars say when they apologize to one another?
"I’m starry!"
What does the alien do when he is bored at school?
He spaces out
Why did the cow go in the spaceship?
It wanted to see the mooooooon!
Sports Jokes (3)
Why was Cinderella kicked off the baseball team?
Because she kept running away from the ball
Why did the policeman go to the baseball game?
He heard someone was trying to steal a base
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one
Dinosaur Jokes (6)
What do you call a dinosaur who wears glasses?
A Do-you-think-he-saurus
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom?
A Because the P is silent
What do you call a dinosaur fart?
A Blast from the past
What do you call an anxious dinosaur?
A Nervous Rex
What do you call a dinosaur in a cowboy hat?
A Tyrannosaurus Tex
What does a triceratops sit on?
Its tricera-bottom!
Animal Jokes (48)
What do elephants wear to go swimming?
Trunks
What did the frog order to drink?
A Diet Croak
What do you call a well dressed lion?
A Dandy-lion
What’s a bee’s favorite hairstyle?
A Buzzzzz cut
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
What do you call a chicken who counts her eggs
A Mathema-chicken
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
A pork chop!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie?
A pie-thon!
What’s more impressive than a talking parrot?
A Spelling bee
What is a cow’s favorite drink?
A smooooothie
What do you get when you cross a snail with a porcupine?
A slowpoke
What do you call a duck that gets all "A’s?
A Wise Quacker
What did the spider’s bride wear?
A Webbing dress
What goes "tick, woof, tick woof"?
A watchdog.
What do you get when you cross a centipede and a parrot?
A Walkie talkie
How do you get a squirrel to like you?
Act like a nut
Why didn’t anyone want the pig on their basketball team
Because he always hogs the ball
Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Because it’s too far to walk
Why should you never tell a pig a secret?
Because it’s bound to squeal
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs
Why do hummingbirds hum?
Because they don’t know the words
Why are fish so intelligent?
Because they are always in schools
What kind of haircuts do bees get?
Buzzzzcuts!
What do you call a sleeping bull?
Bull-dozer
What do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier?
Cow Boom!
What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis
What do you call an owl that does magic tricks?
Hoo-dini
What is a snake’s favorite school subject?
Hissstory
Where do elephants pack their clothes?
In their trunks
What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away
What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
It’s pasture bedtime
What is a pony’s favorite drink?
Lemon-neighed
What did the wolf say when it stubbed its toe?
Owwwwwwww-ch
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course! Buildings can’t jump!
What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial?
Odor in the court
Do bees fly in the rain?
Not without their yellow jackets!
Where do horses live?
Neeeeiggh-borhoods
What kind of bees live in a graveyard?
Zom-bees
What did the mouse say to the keyboard?
You’re my type
Why didn’t the koala bear get the job?
They said she was over-koalafied
Where do cows go when they want to watch a film?
The moo-vies
Where do you take cats to learn to swim?
The Kitty Pool
What heppened when two monkeys were fighting over the banana?
The banana split
What did the cheetah say after finishing his lunch?
That hit the spot
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?
Swimming trunks
Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby?
She was a little horse
What is a cat’s favorite color?
Purrrr-ple
What do you call a pig that does karate?
Pork Chop
Food Jokes (22)
How do you open a banana?
With a mon-key
What did the cake say to the fork?
You want a piece of me?
Which fruit do twins love?
Pears
Why did the lettuce win the race?
Because it’s always a-head
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well.
Why didn’t the orange win the race?
Because it ran out of juice
What do you call a fake noodle?
An Impasta
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef
What did one plate say to the other plate?
Dinner is on me
What does a nosey pepper do?
Gets jalapeno business
What happens when an egg laughs?
It cracks up
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
It was feeling crummy
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a potato?
Mashed Potatoes
What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner
How do you fixed a cracked pumpkin?
With a pumpkin patch
How do you fix a broken tomato?
With a can of tomato paste
What did the little corn say to the mama corn?
Where is popcorn?
Why are strawberries natural musicians?
They love to jam
What did one tomato say to the other tomato in the running race?
Ketchup
Where do burgers go to dance?
The meat ball
Where do you learn to make banana splits?
Sundae school
what do you call a bagel that can fly?
Plain Bagel
More Jokes (31)
How do you talk to a giant?
You use big words
What time is it when the clock strikes 13?
Time to get a new clock
What do you call an angry clock?
Ticked off
What did one penny say to the other penny?
We make cents
Q Did you hear about that new music group, Plastic?
They mostly wrap
What does a house wear? A. A dress
A dress
What’s blue and super light?
Light Blue
When is the best time to make a dentist appointment?
A Tooth-hurty
What do you call a smelly fairy?
Stinkerbell
What kind of music do balloons hate?
Pop
Which hand is it better to write with?
Neither, it’s better to write with a pencil!
What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock?
Look grandpa no hands!
What did the pastry chef do on vacation?
Loafed around
What’s green and not heavy?
Light green
What is blue and not very heavy?
Light blue
Why was the broom running late?
it over swept
How does a train eat?
It goes chew chew
What did the cop dad say to the toddler when he wouldn’t take a nap?
It appears you are resisting a rest
Why are balloons so expensive?
Inflation
Why did the robber jump in the shower?
He wanted to make a clean getaway
What word ends with e and only has one letter in it?
Envelope
Which letter of the alphabet has the most water?
C
Why are ghosts bad liars?
Because you can see right through them
Why did the girl run around her bed?
Because she was trying to catch up on her sleep
Why did the teddy bear not want dessert?
Because she was stuffed
Why did Mike throw a clock out the window?
Because he wanted to see time fly
Why did AJ put sugar on his pillow?
Because he wanted to have sweet dreams
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, 8, 9
What do you call a happy cowboy?
A Jolly Rancher
What stays in the corner yet can travel all over the world?
A stamp
What’s about a foot long and slippery?
A Slipper
Knock-Knock Jokes (26)
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Ice Cream. Ice Cream, who? ICE CREAM SO YOU CAN HEAR ME!
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Radio. Radio, who? Radio not, hear I come!
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Canoe. Canoe, who? Canoe come out and play?
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Tank. Tank, who? You’re welcome.
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Water. Water, who? Water you asking so many questions for? Open the door!
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
needle. Needle, who? Needle little help opening the door.
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Icy. Icy, who? Icy you in there! Open up!
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Sue. Sue, who? Sue-prize, I’m here!
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Lena. Lena, who? Lena little closer and I’ll tell you a secret.
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Mikey. Mikey, who? Mikey’s are lost can you let me in?
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Evan. Evan, who? Evan you should know who this is!
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Asa. Asa, who? Asa anybody home?
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Ben. Ben, Who? Ben knocking for 10 minutes. Open up!
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Nana. Nana, who? Nana your business!
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Cash. Cash, who? That’s nuts!
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Figs. Figs, who? Figs the doorbell!
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Honeydew. Honeydew, who? Honeydew you want to dance?
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Onion. Onion, who? Onion mark, get set, go!
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Kanga. Kanga, who? Actually, it’s kangaroo.
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Weekend. Weekend, who? Weekend do anything we want!
Knock knock. who’s there?
Owls say. Owls say who? Yep.
Knock knock. Who’s there?
A Broken Pencil. A broken pencil who? Oh Nevermind, it’s pointless!
Knock Knock. Who’s there?
Water. Water, who? Water you doing? Just open the door!
Knock knock. Who’s there?
Olive. Olive, who? Olive you!
Knock knock. Who’s there?
Justin. Justin, who? Justine time for dinner.
Knock knock. Who’s there?
Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe, who? Wooden shoe like to hear another knock knock joke?
Riddles & One-Liners (14)
What has hundreds of ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield
What gets wetter the more that it dries?
A towel
What does everyone on earth get on their birthday?
A year older
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common?
Their middle name
It took ten workers ten days to build a bridge. How long would it take five workers to build the same bridge?
None! It’s already built!
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot
What has a head and a tail, but no body?
A coin
What you do need to break before you can use it?
An egg
What goes up but never comes back down?
Your age
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Nevermind, I shouldn’t spread it!
What rhymes with orange?
No it doesn’t!
I got hit in the head with a cola today. At least it was a soft drink!
Don’t spell part backward. It’s a trap.
I was going to tell a pizza joke, but it was too cheesy.
The Best Jokes for 7 Year Olds
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