Clean Jokes for 10-Year-Olds
192 free, clean jokes hand-picked for 10-year-olds: ten-year-olds have real comedic timing. Tap any joke to reveal the punchline.
Food Jokes (17)
What do you call two banana peels?
A pair of slippers!
What fruit teases people a lot?
Ba-na, na, na, na…na!
How do you make gold soup?
Put in 14 carrots.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry!
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
Ca-shew!
What do you call a pistachio on a spaceship?
An astro-nut!
Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
Dill with it
What do you call a sweet potato on the highway?
A traffic yam
What did the reporter say to the ice cream?
Whats the scoop?
What do you call a shoe made from a banana?
A Slipper
What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemon Aid
What kind of nut has no shell?
Doughnut
What did one toilet say to the other?
You look flushed!
What did the tomato say to the ketchup bottle?
How you doin’ brother.
How did the lettuce beat the carrot in a middle school track meet?
Because it was a head!
How does a cucumber become a pickle?
It goes through a jarring experience.
What do you call a monkey that loves potato chips?
A chipmunk
Animal Jokes (60)
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?
Dam
What part of a fish weighs the most?
The scales!
What do you call a hippo with a messy room?
A hippopota mess!
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer
Why do ducks make good detectives?
They always quack the case
How do bees brush their hair?
They use honeycombs
What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.
What did the llama say when he got kicked out of the zoo?
"Alpaca my bags!"
Where does a killer whale go for braces?
The orca-dontist.
why did the lion spit out the clown?
Because he tasted funny
what do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baaa
How do you stop a bull from charging?
Take away its credit cards
What’s a cat’s favorite magazine?
A cat-alogue.
Why can’t you send a duck to space?
Because the bill would be astronomical
What did the mama cow say to the calf?
It’s pasture bedtime!
What do you call a dinosaur fart?
A blast from the past.
Why don’t sharks eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
What kind of key can never unlock a door?
A Monkey
What is a cow without a map?
Udderly Lost
What is a pony’s favorite juice?
lemon-neigh’d.
How does a squid go into battle?
Well Armed
What to polar bears eat for lunch?
Ice berg-ers
What happened when the lion ate the comedian?
He felt funny!
Where do orcas hear music?
Orca-stras
Why do cows like being told jokes?
. Because they like being a-mooooosed!
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To show everyone he wasn’t chicken!
Why can’t humans hear a dog whistle?
Because dogs can’t whistle.
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
Well, a cat has nine lives, but a frog croaks every night!
What do ducks watch on TV?
Duck-umentaries
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. A. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?
They kept dropping their trunks.
What do you say if you meet a toad?
Wart’s new?
What is the easiest way to count a herd of cows?
Use a cow-culator
What is the easiest way to count a herd of cows?
Get an A-Cow-tant
Where did the sheep go on vacation?
The baaaahamas
What kind of bee can’t make up its mind?
A maybe
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
What do you call two birds that are stuck together?
Vel-crows
What kind of bone should a dog never eat?
A trombone.
What goes tick-tock and woof-woof?
A Watchdog
What do you call a pile of kittens?
A meowntain.
How does a dog stop a video?
By hitting the paws button!
What kind of haircuts do bees get?
Buzzzzcuts!
What is a frog’s favorite restaurant?
IHOP
What is a crocodile’s favorite drink?
Gator-ade
What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
Prime-mates
What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
How do you know when a duck hits its teen years?
Voice quacks.
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
What animal is always at a baseball game?
A bat
What do you call a dog in summer?
A hot dog.
Why are baby goats called kids?
Because they’re always looking for their maaaa
What did the full glass say to the empty glass?
You look drunk
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a potato?
Mashed potato.
What do you call a cow with three legs?
Lean beef.
Why are elephants so wrinkled?
Because they take too long to iron!
What do you call the horse that lives next door?
Your neighbor!
What do a chicken and a school band have in common?
They both have drum sticks!
How to bears keep cool?
They use bear-conditioning
School Jokes (22)
What do you call a teacher who’s always late?
Mister Bus
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything
What did the science book say to the math book?
You’ve got problems
What is 47 + 11 + 82 + 161 + 99 + 5?
A headache
Why was the the textbook in the hospital?
Because it hurt its spine.
What’s a teacher’s favorite nation?
Expla-nation.
Did you hear about the teacher who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
What do you do if there is a kidnapping at high school?
You wake him up.
What tool do math teachers use the most?
Multi-pliers
Why did the boy bring a ladder to school?
Because he wanted to go to high school.
Why shouldn’t you tell the joke about the ceiling to a middle school student?
It’s way over his / her head.
What do you call a middle school student with carrots in its ears?
Anything you want, they can’t hear you!
What state has the the loudest third graders?
ILL-I-NOISE!
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the local middle school?
don’t worry, they woke him up.
Why was the middle school trashcan sad?
They were dumped
Why did the middle school student stare at the automobile’s radio?
He wanted to watch a car-tune.
Why did the home economics student throw the butter out the window?
To see a butterfly!
What spelling word is always spelled incorrectly?
Incorrect
What did the dentist give to the school marching band?
A TUBA toothpaste
How does a scientist freshen their breath?
With Experi-mints
Why did the echo get detention?
For answering back, back, back!
Pupil: Sir, would you punish me for something I didn’t do?
Teacher: Of course not. Pupil: Good, because I didn’t do my homework!
Nature Jokes (13)
What did the voolcano say to his wife?
I lava you so much
Why is grass so dangerous?
Because it’s full of blades.
Why did the sun go to school?
To get brighter.
What did the tree wear to the pool party?
Swimming trunks
What’s the difference between weather and climate?
You can’t weather a tree, but you can climate
Why did the farmer plant a seed in his pond?
He was trying to grow a water-melon.
How do trees get on the internet?
They log in.
What did one lightening bolt say to the other?
You’re truly shocking!
What did Obi Wan Kenobi say to the tree on Earth Day?
May the Forest be with you.
What do you call it when worms take over the world?
Global worming!
What is a tree’s favorite drink?
Root Beer
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi bud!
What do you call a flower that runs on electricity?
A power plant!
Space Jokes (4)
How does the moon cut its hair A. E-clipse it.
How do you pay for parking in space?
A parking meteor?
Why couldn’t the astronaut book a hotel on the moon?
Because it was full
What kind of music do planets like?
Nep-tunes!
Sports Jokes (6)
In baseball, would it take longer to run from 1st to 2nd base or 2nd to 3rd base?
2nd to 3rd base because there’s a shortstop in between.
What super hero is the best at Baseball?
Batman of course
Have you heard the joke about the baseball?
It’ll leave you in stitches.
Which is faster?
Hot or cold? A. Hot. You can easily catch a cold.
How do footballers stay cool?
They sit down next to their fans!
What position does a ghost play in hockey?
Ghoulie
Ocean & Pirate Jokes (4)
How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced A. About a buck an ear.
Why is pirating so addictive?
They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked.
Which vegetable do pirates hate the most?
Leeks
What did Blackbeard say when he turned 80?
"Aye, matey."
Body & Anatomy Jokes (35)
why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
because then it would be a foot
What did one eye say to the other eye?
Between us, something smells.
What has two legs but can’t walk?
A pair of pants
What kind of hair does the ocean have?
Wavy
What has one eye, but can’t see?
A needle.
What did one hat say to the other?
Stay here, I’m going on ahead.
Why do dragons sleep during the day?
So they can fight nights
Why was it called the Dark Ages?
Because there were lots of knights.
What do you a call a self driving car that takes the long way around?
R2-detour
What has three letters and starts with gas?
A car.
What award did the dentist get?
A Plaque
Why are Saturday and Sunday the strongest days?
The rest are just weekdays.
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up?
Because it was two-tired
What’s easy to get into, but hard to get out of?
Trouble
Why do shoe strings never win a race?
Because they always tie!
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?
Sneakers!
How can you tell if someone is a good farmer?
He is outstanding in his field!
What do you call a man with a shovel?
Doug.
What kind of music do balloons hate?
Pop music.
Why did an old man fall in a well?
Because he couldn’t see that well!
What did the triangle feel sorry for the circle?
Because it’s pointless!
What building in New York has the most stories?
The public library!
What did one wall say to the other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner.
What gives you the power to walk through a wall?
A door
Why was the picture sent to jail?
it was framed
Which letters are not in the alphabet?
The ones in your mailbox!
Where can you find an ocean without water?
On a map!
If you are American in the kitchen and American in the bedroom…what are you in the bathroom?
European
What do you call a monster with no neck?
The Lost Neck Monster.
Why didn’t the lamp sink?
It was too light
How do Minecraft players celebrate?
They throw block parties!
How do you drown a hipster?
In the mainstream.
Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn?
Because he always has a great fall.
Which rock group has four guys who can’t sing or play instruments?
Mount Rushmore.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won the "no-bell" prize.
Knock-Knock Jokes (21)
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Goliath. Goliath who? Goliath down, you look-eth tired!
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Wooden shoe. Wooden shoe who? Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Figs. Figs who? Figs the doorbell, I’ve been knocking forever!
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes the police. Open the door!
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Big interrupting cow. Big interrupting cow who? MOOOOOOO!
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Mikey. Mikey who? Mikey doesn’t fit in the key hole!
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
I am. I am who? You don’t know who you are?
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Nana. Nana who? Nana your business!
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Candice. Candice who? Candice joke be any worse?
Knock. Knock. Who’s there?
Goat. Goat who? Goat to the door and find out.
Knock Knock. Who’s there?
Rita. Rita who? Rita book, you might learn something!
Knock Knock. Who’s there?
Spell. Spell who? W-H-O
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Lena. Lena who? Lena a little closer and I’ll tell you another joke!
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Anita. Anita who? Anita drink of water, let me in!
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Alex. Alex who? Alex-plain when you open the door!
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Anita. Anita who? Anita got to the bathroom, let me in!
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Ida. Ida who? I think it’s pronounced Idaho.
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Luke. Luke who? Luke through the keyhole and see!
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Annie. Annie who? Annie way you can open the door?
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Robin. Robin who? Robin you! Now hand over the cash.
Knock, knock. Who’s there?
Hosp. Horsp who? Did you just say horse poo?
Riddles & One-Liners (10)
Did you hear about the explosion at that French cheese factory?
All that was left was de brie.
A magician says he will disappear on the count of 3. He says "uno, dos…" poof. He disappeared without a tres.
A father was cleaning his car with his son. After they’re done, the son asks, "Dad, couldn’t we have done this with a sponge?
"
Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says,"Gosh, it’s hot in here!" The other muffin says, "Aaaah! A talking muffin!"
I heard they put a new wing on the middle school….That is true, but it still won’t fly
My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.
People think "icy" is the easiest word to spell. Come to think of it, I see why.
My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much. I told them, "Just you wait!"
The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
Mountains aren’t funny…They’re hill areas!
The Best Jokes Every 10 Year Old Should Know
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